….and more

Don’t go away mad, just go away!

We’re having creative differences. I’m creative, you’re

Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

Don’t talk about yourself so much… we’ll do that when you leave.

I’d like to see things your way, but I’m not sure if I can
stick my head that far up my ass.

What is your worst sin? “My vanity. I spend hours before the
mirror admiring my beauty.”—– That isn’t vanity, dear, that’s imagination.

If your parents got a divorce would they still be brother
and sister?

I before E except after C. We live in a weird society!

Alex, I’ll take ‘Things Only I Know’ for $200″

It’s a beautiful world but everyone’s insane.”

Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls

*Dont drink and drive u might spill your beer*

* Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the
dark cause


Winning is not everything. It’s the only thing

If your not wasted, the day is!

“I majored in one of the liberal arts; will that be for
here or to go?”

“my heart is broke but I have some glue”

“we can get high and float on clouds then we’ll come
down and have a hangover”


..Because I cannot stop for death.. he’ll kindly stop for me

It’s not that I don’t like you! It’s just that when I’m not
behind the mic I’m a person just like you! A man talks dirty to a women and its
sexual harassement. A women talks dirty to a man and its $3.95 a min. “Drug
laws create criminals”

Your friends are worth more than you think–$7.99 at least!

Guys are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken
and the rest are handicap!

“Always forgive your enemies-nothing annoys them so

“If you need space, join NASA, baby”

Its not an attitude ,its the way I am

If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck, I would
swim to the bottom and never come up.

But since the ocean isnt vodka and Im not a duck, Just hand
me the bottle and shut the fuck up.

If you need a nickel … I’ll give you a dime. If you need a
man Bitch don’t Fuck with mine!!

If Lifes a waste of time & time’s a waste of life, then
lets get wasted & have the time our life!!

“You don’t have to be a master chef to know if the soup
is good.

Whats shakin’ you fine piece of bacon~!!

Hope ya enjoyed that~ I love quotes lol!