In almost every case, we know what is best for us in our
lives, from the relationships we create to the food we eat. Still, somewhat
mysteriously, it is often difficult to make the right choices for ourselves. We
find ourselves hanging out with someone who leaves us feeling drained or
choosing to eat fast food over a salad. We go through phases where we stop
doing yoga or taking vitamins, even though we feel so much better when we do.
Often we have no idea why we continue to make the less enlightened choice, but
it is important that we inquire into ourselves to find out.
When we make decisions to choose or do things that not best
for us, the truth can be that there is a deep seated part of us that does not
want to heal. We may say it’s because we don’t have the time or the energy or
the resources, but the real truth is that when we don’t take care of ourselves
we are falling prey to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage happens unconsciously,
which is why it’s so difficult to see that we are doing it. The important thing
to realize is that this very part of us that resists our healing is the part
that most needs our attention and love. Even as it appears to be working
against us, if we can simply bring it into the light of our consciousness, it
can become our greatest ally. It carries the information we need to move to the
next level in our healing process.
When we recognize that we are not making healthy choices, we
might even say out loud, “I am not taking care of myself.” Sometimes this is
the jolt we need to wake up to what is actually happening. Next we can sit
ourselves down in meditation, with a journal, or with a trusted friend to
explore the matter more thoroughly. Just shining the light of our awareness on
the source of our resistance is sometimes enough to dispel its power. At other
times, further effort is required. Either way, don’t fear these parts that do
not want to heal. We only need to take them under our wing and bring them with
us into the light.
Oh, dear…. lots of things to think about, huh? Taking responsibility is a tough choice….
Maybe I really need some coffee first…