Life Skills Specific

Change your life for good – that is if you want to

• Raise your expectations

Your upbringing will have enforced certain personal expectations within you. This is more obvious with regard to money and the type of home you have. Identify these outdated expectations, then decide to throw off these limitations and create some new, exciting goals for yourself.

• Don’t tell everyone

Often when people want to make changes in their life, they tell everyone about it only to be left feeling demoralized when they experience some wobbles on the way. If anyone quizzes you about what you’d like to change in your life, keep it light and say you might have a few ideas up your sleeve, and then change the subject quickly. People aren’t malicious, it’s simply that we are all conditioned to expect people, and ourselves, to weaken and give up on our goals. So don’t even invite that possibility to begin with. This doesn’t mean you have to do it this way… just figure out what works for you… if telling folks works… and makes you more accountable, then do…. but if you are a self-motivator… then don’t the biggest thing is…. Do what works for you.

• Take yourself seriously

Ask yourself some questions. What sort of life do you want? Where do you want to live? Who with? Are you doing a job you love? Ask yourself, ‘What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?’ Then take this question out to lunch with you. Have a relaxed look at it over coffee and write this heading down: ‘What do I really want?’ When you have a list of 30, mark the 10 items that you really, really want. Then decide which three items you feel you must work towards achieving – those are the things that you owe it to yourself to put serious effort into.

• Get help

You need the right sort of support to boost your morale and keep it boosted as we all have the tendency to feel deflated too easily. Contrary to popular belief, taking the first step is easy; it’s keeping going that’s the real challenge. To compensate, you need quality coaching to keep you strong when the inevitable setbacks occur. Sign on with a good Life Coach, or simply enroll three other get-up-and-go people to your ‘Success Group’. Try to meet up weekly to spur each other on. Keep the meeting structured so that each person has at least 15 minutes time to talk about their goals and progress. These should be the only people you discuss your goals with. To work, it’s important that the group is committed and confidential.

• Fake it

What characteristics or qualities would you need to develop to have the life you really want? You might need to appear confident and relaxed, outgoing and friendly, focused and determined. Decide who you need to be and then practice. Never mind how strange it may feel at first – faking it is absolutely fine. Soon you and your new persona will be as one.

• Think positively

You are on a mission. A fully-lived life is at stake here. You cannot allow your mind to wander or be easily influenced. Be vigilant at all times that your thinking is of the highest quality and forbid yourself to think negatively – or if you really have to, allow yourself a few minutes and then get back to positive thought. Remember every problem has a solution and every crisis an opportunity.

• Remember that confidence is all

Make the decision to show faith in yourself. You are brighter and stronger than you think. Dig deep within for more confidence by throwing yourself bigger and more interesting challenges. Keep on surprising yourself at how clever you are.

• Embrace failure

You must fail in order to succeed. It’s the fear of failure that is the real demon. Look at any powerful man or woman who has achieved success and you’ll find failure. You’ll also find lessons learned and put to good use. No one invites failure but when it shows up, take a really close look, put the experience to good use and then act decisively. Above all, don’t make it personal. You are not a failure. Move on.

• Dress to conquer

Act the part or for the part you want. Dress appropriately. If you want to convince those in power of your intelligence and authority, then dress to impress them. All work environments have codes of dress and conduct. Make sure you have deciphered yours and are suitably attired. This could be dressing up or dressing down… do your research….
• Enjoy yourself – right now
Don’t make the mistake of putting off appreciating what you’ve already got until a later date. Give yourself a pat on the back right now for your achievements over the last year and any others you are proud of. Make a list entitled ‘Achievements and successes I acknowledge myself for ‘. Keep this list open and ongoing. Try to get into the habit of paying regular attention to your successes. Success breeds success – but only if you notice it in the first place. Keep daily life light and juicy. Avoid dreariness and over-seriousness at all costs.
And finally, a big well done, to you for being bright enough to want to make the most of your life. You’re right to. Life is precious. You’re smart enough to push yourself so you’ll never look back in regret. After all, it’s the pursuit of your dreams that makes life interesting. Go for it. You know it’s worth it!

Ah, enough is enough this morning…. I am really not preaching… just ‘a’saying….. something to think about…. perhaps some caffeine will help….

2 thoughts on “Change your life for good – that is if you want to”

  1. Wonderful! Especially agree with: “Don’t tell everyone” — until you’ve succeeded that is, 🙂 and even more “Enjoy yourself — right now!” Thanks!

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