Life Skills

Finding the value in you……….. can you…????

Bear in mind that no one has to agree with you.  No one has to understand what you are saying.  No one has to know what you mean.  No one has to understand you.  No one has to adore you, appreciate you, value you.  No one has to do anything.  Only you, have to value YOU.  If not accepting of yourself, you will miss soooooooo  much….

Everything is not momentous.  It is not crucial that everyone understands and appreciates you.  If you think they should, you will cause yourself a LOT of grief.

You need to know your own worth and everyone else’s impression won’t seem so necessary.  You do not need to have such a vested interest in what someone else thinks or feels or doesn’t think or feel.  That is their business, not yours.  People have their passing “fancies”. People are allowed to have their errors.  They “get” to judge….  You “get” to not react and eventually not care…

You can bake the most delicious cake ever made and some won’t finish their piece of it.  So? If someone pushes away the plate of something you made, well, that’s ok…, everyone does not have to value your cooking.  It is simply not up to you to decide what someone else ought to think.  They get to think their own thoughts, no matter what you think about it.

You value does not depend upon another’s evaluation of you. So, let’s not let someone else’s evaluation of you change you… you get to be YOU….

So go spend the day.. being YOU…. Or at least try to find a few minutes to be ok with you who are…….. Right now, the me… needs to find…….Coffee??

3 thoughts on “Finding the value in you……….. can you…????”

  1. Hi Diane, hope you are feeling better! this topic was the hardest for me throughout my life. As an empath (not knowing it let along never hearing the word), living in an abusive alcoholic family (what a training that was…guess I asked for experience), I found a role that protected me as best it could….the people pleaser. And did I ever learn it well. Never had my own opinion. But as time went by, I chose to live and not go down into an enclosed cell so to speak. Slowly, slowly I let go of all that…painfully,…but decided to peak out into the world, external and internal, and get to know me. Now, mostly, I don’t respond to people’s opinions about me, and if I do, it is a chance to look inside and notice why the reaction. It is always good for me to remember the patterns I chose to learn, to survive or for what ever reason I had. I am full of gratitude for learning the lesson and all the support and help I got from some special people…including you and Loren. Take care…sending you healing energy.

  2. I love how you just state it so clearly! No beating around the bush.

    It’s such a great lesson to learn — took me until the end of my 1st year of college (first one) to realize other people really did not care about that big zit, etc., etc. I already knew I wasn’t the center of their world (learned that lesson VERY early being from a big, dysfunctional family), but I did think people spent immense amounts of time and attention on judging me. Nope, they mostly don’t think about me at all. What a relief that was!! 🙂

    Took quite a while longer to learn to value me — just for being me … but that was the first step.

  3. This is what I struggle with on a daily basis. I have been so focused on taking care of everyone else and having an abusive upbringing that I am unsure how to go about doing this…Takin care of ‘me” SO my goal this year is to do more things that I wnat to do that pleases me and nurtures me and surrounding myself with people that understand this..

    So thatnk you again Diane for all that you do

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