Life Skills Specific

My road to less fear…..

So I have a fear of the unknown (this time I am talking about my writing … it being not being “good enough”, grammatical enough, etc)… I have always had it – this underlying fear of not being good enough… the unknown – am I good enough not to hide????)…  It is becoming less and less as I have made a concentrated effort on not letting my fear control me. I have always wanted to write.

When I started this journey I thought, “What if I don’t need courage? What if I don’t need to get over myself?  What if that thing that is holding me back, that thing I think I need in order to get I want, what if I don’t have to have it  or do it?”  …and what in the heck is “that thing” anyway?

I’m serious… I thought to myself, “I just won’t do it.  I won’t leap that hurdle.  I won’t knock any walls, I will go around it.  It might be the long way around, sure, but it will still get me there.”

I travelled that road called “Avoiding Scary Things”.  I don’t know if it is the road more or less travelled – and this advice and this path is most certainly counter-intuitive – but it got me where I needed to go.

So over 20 years ago, we started a business.  We actually didn’t tell many folks and did all of our marketing via word of mouth.  So far… a windy path… then I started writing newsletters… hoping with all my heart that folks would just read the content and not worry about all my imperfections….  It was sent out snail mail for years until we developed an email list and started sending out the “Muse” via email.

But I was still writing… maybe not earning money, but certainly writing.  The whole business of writing scared me.  I love to write.  I have always dreams of writing, but I’m not so great at braving rejection.

So many years, I did nothing… academic writing, yes, lots and lots and lots of it… but I don’t consider that writing.  The kind of free-flowing writing I wanted to do was undo-able.  So I decided to lead with my strengths… I did the thing everyone tells you NOT to do. I didn’t take writing classes or join writing groups.  I just decided to write, send out newsletters (in the early 90s) and they would read it.  So I wrote and people read… WOW.

Then came Sue (our illustrious webmaster) who set up my blog… I left it empty for years and just kept writing newsletters… then, one day in January… we knew we had to “do” our business different so I began to do what scares the beejeebees out of me… writing and exposing myself.  This is how I am conquering my fear… I am doing the “do”… yes, I still fear rejection and criticism… but I am fearing it less.  AND, my fear of being photographed and videotaped????  I am doing that, too….   Can’t say I like it, but I certainly fear it less.

Well, what I don’t fear????? Yah… coffee… I am off…

What do you fear and what are YOU doing about it?

4 thoughts on “My road to less fear…..”

  1. Well I am a few days late in reading this but since you asked what we “others” are fearing and doing about it I thought I’d share. I have had a child attached to my hip for 11 years and in just a few short weeks the last one will head to school and suddenly I will be solo for the whole day. When I first started thinking about it that thought completely freaked me out. However now I am excited (though still a little sad–they grow up so quickly) about this new chapter of our lives. My baby is more than ready to go and begin academic learning and I have been creating a list of all the projects that have not yet made it to top priority on the to do list and have at lesast somewhat of a plan on how to accomplish them. We will see in a few weeks how “well” I face my fear and actually do my do but for now something I used to dread is starting to look a whole lot better.

  2. Dearest Diane,
    You have successfully (in my humble estimation) faced your fears re “this”kind of writing and passed with flying colors.
    I was out riding my bike this morning after reading today^s blog and was reflecting on you and Loren,your story/journey and your work with and for others.
    I believe that you should consider stepping into the bigger classroom,if you will, and write a book or articles for a larger audience than the one that follows this blog!
    You(and Loren) have something important to say and share and now that you have put your fear in the backseat please consider swinging for the fence!!!!
    Just My Humble Opinion,

  3. I love your style of writing, especially through the blog. I think you have been so brave to show us some of your inner workings and the path you walk and how you travel it. You show us some options that we might not have considered or even seen.

  4. I think you’re inspiring others to go down that path, too! In fact, remember I told you about sharing the things other smart people have said? Well I think I’ll do just that! Thanks!!

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