This is a recap of an email I received with no author listed, but I imagine written by a man…… It made me chuckle, but there are certainly some truths to it:
- FINE: This is a word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
- FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. (But I have to admit.. 5 minutes to me is exactly that). Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given fie more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
- NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE.
- GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!!!
- LOUD SIGN: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sign means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about noting. 9Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).
- THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
- THANKS: A woman is thinking you, do not question or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – this is true, unless she says, “Thanks a lot” – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome”, that will bring on a “whatever”)
- WHATEVER: Is a woman’s way of saying —-YOU!!!!!
- DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, I’LL DO IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has gold a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking, “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.
That is it… gotta tell you, I do admit to some of the above… oh well, have to keep Loren on his toes….
Smile, let’s sit down and have a cup of something…. I know some of you don’t drink coffee… so go get something and sit down, smile and breathe for a bit….