This seems to be a theme of mine for the past few days… but finally – yes, finally, I think I have a handle on it. I believe that most of my life that time has managed me. I was so terrified of not having enough time that sleep became a useless activity. (How many of you are shaking your heads at that one?) I really saw no need for sleep… it was an entire waste of time. Although, I am sure there must have been some underlying reasons for avoiding sleep – I always reasoned it out that I wasn’t being “productive” during sleep time. So, for now at least, we won’t delve into the underlying “stuff”. As the years came and went, I would cram more and more and more into the 24 hour day – spending the minimum time as I possibly could having “down” time. Thus… Extreme Multitasking became my mantra. I wrote about that the other day… Here I am 64 years old and finally taking “time” to evaluate that the old way, the way of using all 24 hours on productivity wasn’t working for me. Time was managing me… and probably always had been.
Where to begin? First of all, I realized I had a problem a long time ago… my body doesn’t like me (or didn’t like me) very much. My body knew it needed sleep… knew it had to have down time, knew it needed rejuvenation time. My reasoning? Oh, what does my body (or intuition or higher self) know? I am a left brainer — I think — I manage my body…. Yeah – right!!!! My, what a fall from that ivory tower. It became soooo extreme that I didn’t even give much time to “think”…. Getter done became my path… (Perhaps some obsessive compulsive behavior here, huh?— (o: )
What happened… well, life happened… as I took the “inward” journey of trying to “find myself”, I realized that time was speeding by without me actually noticing it…enjoying it…experiencing it… You know, you can live in the NOW and still be “messed up”… It wasn’t about living in the NOW (the moment), it was about taking care of all aspects of me in the NOW; it wasn’t about how much I could get done, but all about balancing all of me… the external and internal.
So I am starting to walk my talk… starting to listen to what my body says, while at the same time I am managing how I spend my time. I do this by making a list and prioritizing… as the day goes, I delete, re-prioritize… and… I am trying to not read when I go to bed (sometimes I just can’t close a book, just need to finish, even if it is all night), pay attention to how my body feels, no coffee after 11am, take time to see if I am remembering to breathe (this is a big one), and trying very hard to give myself a break… I am a work in progress… God, the universe, whatever… didn’t create junk so I guess I am worth it.
Just a last little tidbit… if your liked Loren’s Gold Light utube video and want to post it on your desktop (keeping in mind that even if the loud ocean noise annoys you.. you will not even notice it after the first few viewings). Loren’s video can be found: Click on this link: Gold Light Exercise if you want it on your desktop… go under the video or any blank space and right click. A menu will come up… Click on Create shortcut. The message will come up that asks you if you want to put this on your desktop. Click, “yes”.
From the perspective of evolution, time is all we’ve got. Evolution only happens in and through time, so we can only affect change within each of us… and certainly through the cosmos in and through time. So if we care about making a difference, we need to have the courage to look directly at our own lives in relationship to time. Many of us are still putting off what is most important, postponing and hesitating because we feel that we’re not quite ready yet. We’re not quite ready to live a life that bold, that intentional, and that immediate. I am ready — are you?
Now the big question… what kind of coffee today?